No Goodbyes
by BandaidChan
Summary: Dealing with a loss isn't easy when you were the one who was meant to die. Kyo is killed during a shooting at school, protecting Yuki. Discontinued
1. Chapter 1

"During the time Kyo-kun stayed with us, the changes he experienced were noticeable to everyone. Everyone here knew the Kyo that hated and was hated. Very few knew the Kyo who _loved_. But the people who did loved him back… that's one of the saddest things about losing him so soon."

The speakers' breath hitched painfully as he tried to hold back his sobs. He bowed his head, hiding his tear filled eyes. The left hand of the man slid to the back of his neck, fingers running through the shorts of his black hair.

He read a few more lines of his speech in his head before closing his brown eyes tightly. Large tears trailed down his pale cheeks and landed on the white papers. The ink blurred from the wetness, but only did he notice as he took another deep breath and opened his eyes.

Raising his head the mourning audience he noticed a girl wearing a black dress that clashed with her bright eyes. She stared at him through the tears in her eyes. And that gave him the encouragement to continue.

He brushed the limp bangs from his eyes. "It didn't seem to matter that we had no pictures of him smiling…" The girl closed her eyes tightly but tears managed to slip through the black confides of her eyelashes. Shigure looked away from her, and down to the tear splattered speech once again.

"But it matters now." The normal singsong tone was replaced with a hoarse, strained voice, his throat raw from the long night of heavy crying. Shigure squeezed his neck now and his head dropped again. This time his sharp brown eyes were shadowed by his bangs.

Around the dark room, others were in the same condition as Shigure. Their colorful eyes downcast with tears slipping down their pale cheeks. The few that held onto composure still didn't look at Shigure. As if they couldn't stand the usual happy man in such a state of depression.

Shigure continued with his strained voice. "I can remember him so vividly. I can almost see him sitting between Tohru-kun and Yuki-kun."

The two jumped slightly, tearful eyes slowly tracing to the area between them. Their eyes met unintentionally, but they didn't blush or look away. They only stared longingly at each other. But though they stared so clearly at each other they saw past the other to a far off image of Kyo.

They didn't notice the rest of the room look at them, also trying to spot Kyo. A depressed smile came to Shigure's lips, his brown eyes closed. "He looks the same as always, but this time he's smiling. He's happy now."

Now everyone had tears in their eyes, a few sobbing into their hands, shoulders heaving as they cried. Yuki blinked and Kyo was gone, replaced by Tohru. He could see in her eyes that she was still watching the redhead. He put his hand on hers, feeling the soft fabric of her black glove and rubbed it. She blinked twice, surprised when she found Yuki watching her painfully. He felt bad for causing her to loose the image. She tried to smile for him, but it contrasted with the tears still in her eyes

Shigure watched the two from his position behind the pulpit decorated in a wreath of flowers and leaves before continuing. He looked out at the large crowd. More people had shown up than he expected. Kyo would've been happy to know people cared more than he thought.

Everyone stared away from him, but waited anxiously for him to speak again. "I can hardly stand when I think about all Kyo went through. Or when I think about how humanity has fallen to carry out an act of murder. How can we do it…?"

He shook his head as a fresh wave of tears assaulted everyone in the room. "I'll never say goodbye. I'm not going to forget him… He's still a member of my family. He's still living at my house…"

At this Tohru broke down completely. She cupped her pale face in her gloved hands and cried freely. The boy beside her rubbed her back while watching her sadly.

"I love you Kyo." Shigure finished before grabbing the paper and slowly walking back to his seat. Yuki stood up while eyes still worriedly cast on Tohru. She raised her head from her hands and nodded at him.

He slowly walked to the pulpit while fixing his tie. He pulled a folded bundle of papers from his jacket pocket and smoothed it out. Until this point, Yuki didn't feel the lump in his throat. Breathing deeply, he swallowed the feeling and looked down at his paper.

"It's kind of hard." He said aloud. He raised his violet eyes to the audience. "It's hard to realize love for someone after their gone. Kyo… Kyo and I hated each other… But now, now that he's gone… What he did for me. I realize I never hated him…" Yuki took a calming breath and watched everyone from his family wallow in mourning.

"I can also remember him clearly. The day it happened… Everything I felt…what was said, what he said… I remember it all. And even when I replay it in my head, over and over… I don't know why someone would do that…."

"The same boy who swore his hatred for me… Protected me with his life."


	2. Chapter 2

His violet eyes filtered out the bangs blocking the full of his vision and stared through the open window, curtains gently swaying in a breeze that otherwise wouldn't be noticed. He had been awake for a while, but the feeling in his stomach protested his moving from bed. Slowly he brushed the silver bangs from his pale forehead.

The sounds of Sunday filled the house while he finally lifted himself from the bed and stumbled downstairs. His eyes closed while he gently bounced down the steps, tiredly regretting getting up at all. He was so deep in his thoughts that he had hardly noticed his foot missing the step and the fall that ruffled his hair.

He was grabbed roughly at the shoulder and pulled up. At that moment his eyelids fluttered open and were peered into by a crimson stare.

"What the hell, rat?" Kyo growled making sure Yuki was sitting securely on a step before continuing to walk down the stares. While he disappeared around the corner, he heard the cat groan. "You're so annoying."

The boy took a moment to let his still sleepy brain register the event before slowly following the cat into the kitchen. Around the table his family huddled around the table, eating the sweat and blood of Tohru's meal.

As he sat he noticed everyone around him seemed as slow as he did. No one smiled or said anything, the mood weighing heavily on the boys heartstrings. They finished the meal quietly but no one moved when they were done eating. Finally Kyo growled and slammed his knuckles against the wooden table.

"What the hell is wrong with everyone? Why are you all acting so depressed?" The startled girl (Who happened to be seated directly beside the boy) waved her hands frantically and her tongue tripped over the words that came tumbling out.

"No! I'm not depressed, I mean I guess I feel a little sad but, well, I don't know! You know how it is, it's just one of those days!" Her rambunctious explanation ended with a nervous giggle.

Kyo sighed. "Whatever. It's annoying."

"I think Neko-san is wearing his grumpy pants!" Shigure sang, giggling behind his hands. The three teenagers took time from their glares (And frantic waving brought to us by Tohru) to give Shigure a blank stare.

The boy with orange hair clicked his tongue. He seemed as if he were struggling for a locked up reply but couldn't get it. Instead he clicked his tongue again and looked away from everyone.

"Ano…" Tohru mumbled, looking down at her half finished meal. "What are we going to do today?"

When no one made an effort to answer her, she looked up and around to the faces. Kyo still refused to look at them, so she studied the face of Shigure and Yuki instead. At first, they both seemed like they would remain silent until Yuki's head perked up.

Her chest fluttered with a momentary excitement as she thought about what Yuki would say, and then, the boys' head fell and smacked against the coffee table. The fluttering in her chest turned into a stabbing panic and a small scream left her throat.

Both the bang and the scream caused Kyo to look over. By now, Tohru was on her feet, peering down at the boy. The other male smiled in an amused fashion. This went on for a while until Kyo couldn't take it anymore.

"Relax, he's just sleeping."

Tohru stopped in mid arm-flap and looked at Kyo with a strange curiosity dancing in her eyes. The black haired male nodded happily.

"Kyo-kun is right!" And then, as if to demonstrate his point, Shigure gave Yuki a small finger jab to his ribs, which caused Yuki to promptly fall to his side. Again, the female member of the house looked ready to panic but refrained. Kyo got to his feet and sighed.

"This is stupid!"

As he lifted his socking-clad foot to stomp out of the room, Shigure leaped at the cat and knocked him to his feet. "Wait!" His brown eyes ran through a show of fleeting concern and fear, but as soon as he blinked it was gone. Kyo, who was too stunned to notice the play of emotion in the man's eyes, hissed at the novelist.

Shigure was too quick, and cut off the cats words. "We should all do something together!"

That confused almost all of them. It was a day, like any other. So why now would Shigure suddenly want to have a family day? Of course, this wasn't the first time he had suddenly announced a surprise event.

Kyo wanted to yell at Shigure for attacking him, yet upon hearing the mans words, and seeing the fleeting fear return to the dogs eyes, his tongue turned into knots and he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Stranger yet, the boy felt sorry, sad and guilty. He had almost felt like he was the one who made Shigure feel such sorrow.

Of course no one knew the feelings running rapid in Kyo's heart, causing them all a electric shock when they heard the words that slipped free from his tangled tongue.

"Sorry."

Next came the silence.

Yuki, awakened by the thump of Kyo hitting the floor, closed his eyes against a sudden attack of tears and forced a yawn for a excuse when he opened his glassy eyes. Shigure didn't say anything because somehow Kyo's words felt right and wrong at the same time.

Soon enough he shook his head. "It's not your fault."

Shockingly, everyone seemed to understand his words, and confuse them all in one thought process. The eldest shook his head again, this time harshly, flinging his black hair and depressed thoughts everywhere.

"Well! Shall we go?"

* * *

Oh man, this chapter was boring to write. Sorry for the delay, but I couldn't bring myself through this part. Anyhow, this will get more interesting…

Until then, have a good day!


	3. Chapter 3

They found themselves wandering the vastness of the Sohma property. They had a short picnic in a Sohma owned gardens, and then visited Sohma owned shops of sorts before stopping off at the Sohma owned onsen for a relaxing bath At the end of the day they went around visiting Shigure's Sohma owned friends. Meaning they had to visit Ayame twice (Much to Yuki and Kyo's displeasure)

And even though having been explained to _twice_ that neither visit was Yuki's will, Ayame still proudly and loudly exclaimed his dedication and perhaps succession in becoming the magnificent elder brother he was always meant to be. Despite all the squabbles, everyone felt liberated to be welcomed and loved.

With a large hug to every member of the Shigure household, Ayame sadly let them depart. He wept large tears and wailed dramatic sobs that all but had Shigure torn to pieces. The novelist was slowly dragged away as two men yelled their love to each other across the street. Their drama production caught the attention of almost every passer-by that wondered if the two were actually or in love or if a hidden camera was filming their reaction.

Tohru was frantically giggling and waving people off with a large smile. Lucent through her animated sweat drop (that's dramatic proportion was perhaps as large as Ayame and Shigure's tears) was the girls pink blush spreading across her cheeks. Yuki had begun to wonder if she meant to be cute all the time.

Then suddenly he and Kyo stumbled forward, empty handed. The looked back to see the man they were once dragging clinging to Ayame as they both wept tears of love and joy. A thought hit Yuki beside the idea of Tohru's intentional adorableness. If Shigure could worm away so easily, what was with the tears? Was the man letting himself be dragged away for the sake of drama?

In the end, Ayame ended up tagging along as the group made their way to Hatori- Shigure knowing all to well that the doctor was taking care of the Juunishi children at that moment. It seemed like nothing could stop the flirty talk between the hebi cursed and the inu cursed, but it suddenly died down on its own. And even through the piercing silence, nezumi and neko alike had irritable emotions growing.

Kyo thought about striking out, but a side-glance to the girl happily smiling to the world in front of her told him it would be stupid. A sigh from Yuki told him he was thinking the same thing. Tohru remained unaware.

"Aya!" Shigure squealed. "I'm bored, bored, bored!" The man beside him cast him a smile before closing his beautiful eyes and in a deep, lustful voice he said…

"Not now, Gure-san. For the eyes of the public and the children are upon us." The men giggled to each other until they finally stopped in a small Café. Ayame looked around the small store, his deep golden eyes searching every face until a pout hit his face and he nudged Shigure sadly.

"He's not here."

"I know." All sets of eyes peered up at Shigure looking confused and interested. (Kyo just looked annoyed.)

Shigure closed his eyes and allowed a sly smirk to play his lips for a moment too long. "You see, Ha-san does not know that we were to be meeting."

Then, with a glorious pose and a mischievous look in his once again open brown eyes, Shigure stabbed his hand in his coat pocket and pulled out a small silver cell phone. He earned a few stares from strangers, one of which pulled their child a little closer while still giving Shigure glances as if to figure out if he was sane, if the child would be safe.

The Sohma clan of course ignored it, being so used to the stares when they went out with Shigure. However, Tohru looked scared, emotions fleeting across her wide eyes. Yuki nudged her shoulder with his, too lazy to take his hands out of his pockets.

"Don't worry, he's used to it."

The other teenage boy allowed his head to drop as he added, "Unfortunately, we are too." And then he threw in a sigh.

Tohru nodded but still looked worried. At this point Shigure was pouting towards the teens. "Ah, how cruel! My heart feels as though it has just cracked." He had enough time to through his a dramatic sob before he was pulled close to Ayame's chest.

The men laughed merrily and more strangers looked scared. It took a couple hard punches from the other boys until Shigure finally dialed the doctors' number and convinced him to meet them at the shop.

They sat at a large table with white metal rims and thick glass. The waitress came to them holding a small notepad with her chubby fingers, took their orders grumpily and then walked off, taking any sort of conversation with her.

A familiar tingle of sadness seemed to touch everyone's spine again, and they thought and pondered why they felt so sad so suddenly but never found a real reason, just excuses or cover-ups for something they didn't really want to think about.

Hatori arrived before their drinks, towing behind him a blonde Momiji. Everyone scooted over to make room for the newly arrived, greeting them happily as they did and still no conversation came. When the waitress came back with a tray of assorted drinks and left again, Kyo was fed up with the silence and roughly slammed his glass on the table.

"What the hell" He growled. "This is starting to piss me off…"

Momiji nodded in agreement. "I have a math test tomorrow!" From their conversations seemed to start until the all parted in front of the Café. The sun was already gone for the night and a few stars were peeking through the internal bleakness of the sky. Momiji hugged everyone goodbye happily, turning into a fluffy rabbit as he parted with Tohru.

Hatori made a grim noise in the back of his throat while glancing at his wristwatch. "It's late…" He commented and then turned to walk off. This time it seemed harder than normal, but he continued to walk and took a chunk the sad fog everyone was consumed in. Ayame skipped beside the doctor adding sadness with annoyance.

By the time the foursome got home yawns were emitted every few seconds. They piled in the house and then flew into their rooms to get ready for bed and a night of no sleep.

Later in the night, Shigure found himself sitting at his computer with a blank expression and tears clouding his eyes but for the life of him, he wouldn't let them fall.

Yuki's frown scraped against his pillow, as it got deeper and he rolled over the thoughts clouding his head over and over. Trying to figure out why he suddenly felt regret and such increasing sadness. He rolled over to face his door, more trivial thoughts making his head ready to burst.

Across the hall Tohru was having just more success with chasing out her inner thoughts as tears, as they streamed down her face. The picture of her mother was pressed against her chest and it occasionally shook with her erratic breathing. She twitched quietly with another sob and closed her eyes lightly and uttered a prayer in her mind.

The orange-headed boy looked out the window at the now full moon. His expression showing what he felt in his heart. The memories running across his eyes were all forced out as a gentle tear that was harshly forced away.

And though he felt lost and confused, he felt no regret, perhaps only confusion by this sudden turmoil.

**Not much going on here… Foreshadowing and a little bit of angst! Ah, I know everything has been going slow, but next chapter it will pick up! Until then!**

**Oh yeah!**

**The last chapter was part of this one; I was just showing you kids I'm alive.**


	4. Chapter 4

So I've recently indulged in a new Anime and now I really want to start a fiction about it. Unfortunately that goes against my new rule of one story at a time. So now I am more motivated for writing this story!

**Now comes the part where you help me. I need ideas and I need them fast! I'd offer you a virtual cookie, but that doesn't seem to work anymore. All I can really do is offer you a small role in my story. **

**Just describe your character and how you want to be part of the story and I will do it!**

* * *

The hardest part of that morning came first. The process of peeling heavy black eyelashes from pale skin was painful, the dried tears acting like an adhesive. Then came the mild annoyance of efforts being in vain as Yuki managed to get his eyes open, only to snap them shut again. It seemed only then that the light was noticeable and the shield of his eyelid was nothing.

Moving was hard, thinking was harder. Miserable attempts to get up only left him more and more annoyed. A random attempt to get up lead his eyesight to the alarm clock sitting on his night table- An alarm clock set and ready to wake him up in an hour.

He flopped down stiffly and groaned as he did. His head was fogged which caused his thoughts to come blindly and slowly. In random spurts he wondered why he had awoken so early. He was Yuki, known as the only Sohma who couldn't handle mornings and he was the first one to open his eyes that morning.

Next he wondered why he was so sore. Simply moping about couldn't cause such pain. Why was he even moping about? Was this mad depression that grabbed dumbly at every single person in the house simply a bad omen? In a way it unnerved him to think about, it caused him to stiffen even more and it threatened to make him burst.

He couldn't just spit out the thought like he wanted to, it tumbled around in his head, even trying to escape out of his mouth, leaving a horrid taste in his mouth. It felt like he hit the nail on the head. Dead center.

But if he happened to be right, what could be so awful to cause such raw emotion before it even occurred? Images of friends and family lingered in his brain, stamping names and faces on the tissue, and then kicking at his skull as a reminder that they wouldn't go. The faces twisted in horrible demonic expressions until not even the beautiful saintly Tohru was a relief.

With a headache and upset stomach, Sohma Yuki once again fell asleep.

A faint ringing rescued her from the demons hot at her heals and she sat upright with a sharp intake of breath. Beads of sweat that accumulated in the chase finally rolled down her temples and her bangs clumped horribly, sticking to odd places of her soft skin.

The ringing continued for a minute longer before she finally decided to reach over and turn off her alarm before she managed to awaken any other housemate before they were ready.

Then she stopped, and starred blankly at the clock surface. It wasn't set like she thought it was. Now that she took time to rethink that notion she realized the ringing was too faded and distant to really be coming from an object almost directly beside her.

She swung her sock-free feet over the side of her pink and glorious bed and slipped from the covers. The floor was cold and it was hard but she didn't recoil and jump back into the blankets like she wanted. Keeping a steady breathing pattern she slipped out of her room and followed the source of the noise to Yuki's bedroom.

Tohru was amazed that she managed to make no sound, sneaking stealthily into the boys' room and turning his alarm clock off. After that she managed a moment to smile lovingly down at him. His hair fanned out on his pillow, making a perfect pattern with well-blended colors. His eyelashes fell lightly against his skin and the colors were exact opposites.

The girl managed to stay quiet while admiring his beauty, even while clearing her throat. She was sure that she didn't look as angelic as he did, the boy perfect like snow. She didn't allow herself a moment longer to stare down at the boy and hastily left his room and slipped into the shower.

Yet as the water washed the sweat off of her body the image of Yuki was with her, swarming all around her head. 'Perhaps,' she wondered idly 'I love him.' But a smile reached her race and she shook her head regardless.

'But this feeling, is it unlike love?' For some reason she took comfort in Yuki. Everything about him at that moment helped chase away the mysterious sadness that clogged her eyes with tears.

'What is love?'

Perhaps she would never know. The thought of started a physical relationship didn't come often. It didn't seem critical at this moment, anyways…

She finished her shower with a deliberate slowness before racing into her room clad only in a strawberry printed towel and got herself ready for they day. She almost regretted taking such a long shower because now she didn't have time to tie her hair in braids.

The morning continued normally as Tohru woke Yuki up, and left him to get ready and make breakfast.

* * *

Shigure had smiled all morning, chattering away happily while munching on his breakfast. Kyo shouted, normally as Yuki threw a well-backed up insult. Just like normal, Shigure watched the teens off to school waving his hand and wishing them a good day, telling them to come back safely.

But as his eyes lingered too long on the retreating figures, another unexplained tear lead his voice into saying, "I love you."

* * *

**Okay! The spot is open for boys and girls. Drop in some ideas, constructive criticsm, or even praise me.**

**Be sure to mention your character sketch if you want a spot! Thank you!**

**Ps: Sorry it's so short! ;;**


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